Dead Hardy

There’s better way to relive the glory days of your youthful vibrant body and leaner years then bringing a butter face half your age to Paris and wearing this black and white t-shirt with a six pack and chains and buttons and a bunch of other young hip stuff printed on the shirt to appear younger! The number of things wrong with your shirt is outstanding considering the complete lack of rhinestones incrusting it. First of all, why is it tucked in…is it some attempt to make the abs look more legit and add depth and realism by using your shorts as a foreground? And what time period is this shirt representing…are you trying to pass yourself off as 80’s punk? Cause parted hair, cargo shorts and white sandals screams punk (sadly in a way it kind of does, cause obviously you care what no one thinks of you).  The most disappointing thing about this shirt is that I can’t actually grab any of those chains and yank them off you or drag you around by them. But I must give you credit, you are living the dream by finding a younger women whose mouth is always so open, you’ll never know if her jaw just dropped cause of your outfit or not! I guess ignorance is bliss my elder statesmen!