Filed under: Dead Hardy Don't, In the Wild | Tags: 'Merican, barn, do not want, flower print, Old School, textile from hell, wet nurse, Zima
Spotted in Las Vegas is this perfectly acceptable, and cute flower print dress…IF YOU’RE 9 YEARS OLD!!!! Seriously, girl, you are in SIN CITY, please leave your good girl image back at the barn. No one wants to lift up a flower print dress in the elevator at the Mandalay Bay and have a quickie. In fact the flowers just scream “This pussy saved for marriage” This might get the red necks all hot and bothered but in Vegas this dress looks like you just snuck into the casino on a dare after drinking a shot of Zima. We’ve seen the youngin’ look done right before, but this is just plain and ugly! I will at least applaud you for not wearing a bra whose straps would have been visible in the U-neck cut of the dress, but must inform you of the wonders of strapless bras, it seriously looks like you have been a wet nurse for the last 5 years, and at your age that is damn scary! Oh and please note, that if you ain’t wearing at least 3 inch heels in Vegas you shouldn’t even be allowed to stay on the strip. Seriously live it up, put on some heels, and let that nerdy ass guy you are with into you non-flower print panties sometime, why else do you think he took you to Vegas?!
Filed under: Dead Hardy Don't
What was once perfected by Starter and Champion, and worn rightfully so by armchair quarterbacks and college students alike, has since been picked, retrofitted, and promptly ruined by boutique designers the world over….we of course are referring to the once timeless hoody.
Hoodies, normally designed for warmth and comfort, have begun a downward spiral into near blouses with anorexic men sporting them half zipped so the world at large can get a joyous eyeful of their pale, hairless rib cage (cause the absurdly large v-necks these people wear on hot days doesn’t show us enough of their chest). May god have mercy on our soul if a designer ironically starts making these with NFL team logos! These designers have spared us for the most part by making these items ridiculously expensive for most douche bags and misguided fashionistas to afford on their “taking lots of meetings/I have a script with some producers/trying to make shit happen” salary they have (AKA unemployed dreamer). However, American Apparel has undercut their competition in more ways than one, by offering sheer, sparkly and made in Los Angeles works of crap that are so shitty modern artist in New York will smear them over an image of Jesus Christ himself simply to garner attention and protest for their next showing. All for the low low price of $48.00
Dead Heads, be on the look out for offenders who dare to rock these abominations of the perfect Sunday afternoon attire and send the photos to contact@deadhardy.com. Together, we can take the hoody back!
