Filed under: Dead Hardy Do, DH International, In the Wild | Tags: boobs, braless, Dead Hardy Do, Dream Girl, Hi-C, i hit it, Paris, skirts, you totally want to bone dead hardy don't ya?
Ladies, if you want any chance of getting Dead Hardy hard you must master the art of the skirt, and learning to rock a ruffled or pleated skirt that can add depth to the tired flat and straight skirt is a major plus. Otherwise you’ll be stuck with Hi-C who will screw nearly anything that isn’t rocking too many graphics or rhinestones and isn’t currently lactating. But back to the skirts…in these hot summer months, utilizing a single layer like a skirt in such a way as these women do really allows you to add the appearance of layers or depth, without actually draping any extra or unnecessary. As you can see, the French have it down pat, so take notes!
This girl is rocking a lightly pleated skirt, giving her legs some room to breath, while also giving the skirt a lose and airy look showing just enough thigh to get the imagination going till you realize just how damn hot it is right now! But just cause your skirt is rockin’ doesn’t mean you’re safe from an ass hole comment honey. Lets not mix a high waisted skirt with braless boobies, as it makes it look like you have no torso, just boobs and legs…which isn’t that bad I guess when you think about it? Click through for more as well as the dressed dressed girl we spotted in all of paris!
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: 'Merican, christian audigier, Nazis, Paris, Tourist Fashion
Spotted by the Eiffel Tower in Paris alongside light up miniature paper weights, key chains and subway maps…here we see just what Christian Audigier’s fellow countrymen think of his fashion style. Congrats Christian, you have inspired a whole new wave of bedazzled clothing for tourists! Your style and sophistication is officially on par with such classics as “I love (insert city name here)”, “The Govenator” shirts found in California, or various shirts decorated with states birds, landmarks and cartoony maps showing off a cities most visited attractions. Oh and how is it in France your countrymen are able to produce equally hideous and rhinestone encrusted garb at a fraction of the cost at what your t-shirts cost Mr. Audigier? Surely you’re not over charging are you??
What’s really sad, is that this is only douchey fashion like this I found in all of France for sale…the French don’t wear crazy shit like this, and after seeing just how well they dress in France, I am convinced Mr. Audigier is not French at all…and if he is, I am guessing his family was in cahoots with the Nazi’s in Southern France…there is no other explanation!
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: 'Merican, cargo pants/shorts aren't dead yet?, Douche, Fake, FHL, grey bush, layers fail, Paris, trophy wife
There’s better way to relive the glory days of your youthful vibrant body and leaner years then bringing a butter face half your age to Paris and wearing this black and white t-shirt with a six pack and chains and buttons and a bunch of other young hip stuff printed on the shirt to appear younger! The number of things wrong with your shirt is outstanding considering the complete lack of rhinestones incrusting it. First of all, why is it tucked in…is it some attempt to make the abs look more legit and add depth and realism by using your shorts as a foreground? And what time period is this shirt representing…are you trying to pass yourself off as 80’s punk? Cause parted hair, cargo shorts and white sandals screams punk (sadly in a way it kind of does, cause obviously you care what no one thinks of you). The most disappointing thing about this shirt is that I can’t actually grab any of those chains and yank them off you or drag you around by them. But I must give you credit, you are living the dream by finding a younger women whose mouth is always so open, you’ll never know if her jaw just dropped cause of your outfit or not! I guess ignorance is bliss my elder statesmen!
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: Ed Hardy, Paris, shemp, touch of douche, wwcd
Spotted in Paris, France, this lost soul will sadly never be able to find his way looking at simple maps. No sir, you need to stop looking at the map (Hint you are at the FUCKING LOURVE, shouldn’t be too hard to find) and in the words of Michael Jackson, look at the man in the mirror, and make that change! Yes random stranger wearing what is prolly the only French designer related clothing you own, it is not too late for you! While others are totally lost in a avalanche of bright colors and rhinestones…you only have a touch of douche on your shoulders…a dash of shemp that can easily be brushed away if you just ask your self, What Would Coco Do?
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: Ed Hardy, Fake, god, lie, Paris, sin
Oh yeah, this makes sense…cover you head to honor your higher power, but then rock wanna be cheap ass Ed Hardy knock off clothing…isn’t they technically lying, which is kind of sort of not allowed? Just saying….
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: 14 year old girl, bjork, color blind, knee high socks, layers fail, London, Man Purse, Skinny jeans, smurf period, suspenders
As we have stated numerous times at Dead Hardy, accessories make the outfit. Spotted in London England these two individuals used accessories to get themselves blasted by D|H himself…
Unless you are rocking a suit or pants that have the buttons sewn in for you to wear proper suspenders, don’t! Wearing clip on suspenders is more juvenile, sloppy and just as classless as wearing a clip on tie. Plus red and blue are two very complimentary colors, but also very difficult to coordinate together. And if you don’t do it well, much like you have failed with the blue on blue with those hideous red suspenders, it looks like a smurf period. Congrats Smurfette, you’re not pregnant!
Ok, yes, I am about to make fun of a 14 year old girl after the view more link…
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: 'Merican, Baby Elephants, Big Girl, color blind, FHL, Lourve, Match made in hell, mona lisa, Paris, stupid
Spotted in Paris, France taking in the sites and wonderment of the Lourve, or as she calls it, the Dan Brown building of plot points, was this wonder of American genetics. Her red, white and blue ensemble screams, Patriot enough to rock my colors in Paris, but not patriot enough to stay in the country on 4th of July! This is the equivalent of me telling my super hot girlfriend: “Sorry babe, leaving the country for your birthday, but i’ll wear a t-shirt with your face on it!” I want to make a joke and say something witty about the American flag stars she has waving from her head, but do i need to? Can i really make that choice of normally drunken head wear funnier then it really it is? I mean, she is wearing American flag antlers within 50 yards of the Mona Lisa in what is the most prestigious museum in the world in a foreign country, which as late, has hated American foreign policy. The only way this shot could get any better, if is she was in the British Museum, or choking.
Happy Birthday America, and have a fun 4th of July!
Filed under: DH International | Tags: Baby Elephants, Big Guy, do not want, London, Paris, pink buttons
Polite Notice: Please wear button down shirts that fit your fat ass. Thank you.
Spotted in the London Underground, this dude is testing the strength of the pink pearly buttons of his pink plaid shirt…sir, even if that shirt fit, you might want to rethink wearing it!
He’s wearing stripes cause he heard it makes him appear thinner….
Filed under: DH International | Tags: 'Merican, crocs, Douche Rehab, London, Old School, sorry, Tim Tebow
Spotted in London, an American Apparel store….To all of the United Kingdom and Europe at large…I apologize for this grievous invasion on to your land and culture. I assure you, this is not what all Americans wear, nor does American Apparel speak with the “royal” American, as many of us can’t stand this stuff. But hey, at least we got it right with the Starbucks right?
While I’m at it, this is also our fault, and I apologize. However, we stopped wearing these things for the most part a couple of years ago…so this is kind of your fault too London. However, the main person to blame is Tim Tebow, he is the only notable person still rocking these things, so please take it up with him at TTebow@UFL.edu.
Again, sorry!
Filed under: DH International, In the Wild | Tags: christian audigier, Dream Girl, FHL, Lexicon, London
Spotted in London in the amazing Harrods department store, this Shemp dutifully followed his girlfriend as she shopped for various items. But you know what, FHL – Fuck Her Life. She was the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in London, sorry Posh, and she is with this dude!?!? Seeing stuff like that is makes shemp-nozzels wear crappy ass shirts with metallic reflective material! Unless you are a walking kids across the damn street, no portion of your shirt should be that reflective. So, honestly, this post goes out to that beautiful lady, cause if you can make him shop, you could make him stop wearing those shirts! Use your womanly ways for good, not douche bag fashion! Until you do, FHL!
Say it with me everyone, FHL!
